Well everyone, I knew I would be telling you stories about the crazy shenanigans spiders always try and pull at my house, but I had no idea it would be so soon. Apparently the last spider was simply a scout, sent as a ruse. Tonight I came home, only to find the spider equivalent of Luca Brazzi hanging out on my doorframe, staring at me with its multitude of beady eyes and making comments about how "flammable my stuff looks" and how "it would be a shame if anything were to happen to it."
Well, I don't know how many of you have seen the movie "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon," but what happened next was pretty much nothing like that. However, I did high kick Luca the Spider right in his stupid eight-eyed face. I like to think that the last thing that passed through his mind was my shoe. But only moments before that, he was probably registering surprise at how good a man of my... heft, is at at high-kicking things.
Well, I don't know how many of you have seen the movie "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon," but what happened next was pretty much nothing like that. However, I did high kick Luca the Spider right in his stupid eight-eyed face. I like to think that the last thing that passed through his mind was my shoe. But only moments before that, he was probably registering surprise at how good a man of my... heft, is at at high-kicking things.
In conclusion, as a final reminder to any spiders who may be reading this, the brown smear on my door signifies that Luca "The Spider" Brazzi sleeps with the fishes. And I'm taking this thing to the mattresses.
You also need a non spider related blog, for those of us who love ALL of your adventures!
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